Carter's backstory in Hogan's Heroes

More on the Drums Along the Dusseldorf episode of Hogan's Heroes.

If a white-looking guy like Sgt. Andrew Carter seems an unlikely Sioux Indian, a piece of fan fiction creates a plausible backstory for him:

So Sioux Me

By Atarah Derek

Hogan's men tease Carter and he responds:"Come on, Carter, are you sure you won't 'elp us with the rain dance?" Newkirk implored.

LeBeau paused in his dancing and whooping to add, "Or you can show us how to hunt buffalo like you used to do in North Dakota. Hey, you lived in one of those, eh...how do you say, tipi, non?"

Carter rolled his eyes. "I told you guys, the Sioux don't really do rain dances. We do grass dances, fancy dances and medicine dances, but not rain dances. And no, I didn't live in a tipi. Sure, I helped set up a lodge at a powwow one time, but I didn't live in it. Well, not for more than one night, anyway. And if you guys bothered to ask what it was like living so close to the reservation, I'd be glad to tell you, but you're obviously not interested. So just let me finish Schultz's present, for Pete's sake."

Sgt. Kinchloe intervenes:"Guys, just knock it off already. Don't you think you've given Carter enough grief? So he's Indian. So what? I'm black, but you don't seem to be concerned about that. Why is Carter any different?"

Newkirk and LeBeau looked down at their shoes and stuffed their hands in their pockets.

"You know, you're absolutely right, Kinch," Newkirk said. He turned to Carter. "You know we don't mean nothin' by it, don't you, mate?"

"Oui, we're sorry, Carter," LeBeau added.

Carter shrugged. "Aw, it's not a big deal, really. I know you'd never mean to hurt my feelings. And it's really not the worst I've gotten. Not by a longshot."

"White folks back home make fun of you for being part Indian?" Kinch asked.

"No, not really," Carter said. "Most people don't know I'm a quarter Sioux until I tell 'em. Actually, the worst teasing I ever got was when my brother and I would visit our cousin on the reservation. He had some friends who were real bullies."

Years ago, some bullies challenged Carter and his brother Tommy:The teens laughed. The oldest boy lobbed his basketball at Tommy, hitting him hard enough in the chest to send him stumbling backwards. The little boy landed hard on his rear. The shock was enough to evoke a trembling lip as Tommy whimpered.

"Hey, you leave my brother alone!" Andrew snapped, helping Tommy up.

"What are you gonna do, whitey?" the oldest boy challenged. "Tell the Indian grandma you made up?"

"Yeah, you're no Indians," the third member of the gang said with a snarl. "You don't belong on the rez."

Carter's father told him how to how to handle such situations:Andrew's father sighed. "Folks are gonna find any reason to be cruel, son. And sometimes they're cruel even to one of their own. Problem is, you and your brother don't look very Indian, so folks on the rez won't always believe you when you say you are. But you can't let them get to you. You gotta be proud of who you are. No matter what anyone says. And if they make fun of you, ignore them until they're ready to be set straight. Lots of folks are just ignorant. They don't know better. You gotta be ready to teach them."

Andrew nodded. "I'll never forget I'm part Lakota. And I'll be proud of it always."

LeBeau and Newkirk get the message:"We're sorry for making fun of you," LeBeau said to Carter. "We were really out of line."

Carter smiled. "Heck, I forgave you a long time ago, Louis. I know you guys never really mean anything by it."

"Still a matter of principle, though," Newkirk said. He sat up straight and held up his right hand. "And I swear on me honor that I'll never mock you for bein' Indian again."

"Oui, that goes for me too," LeBeau said.

"Thanks, guys," Carter said.

Excellent fanfic, Atarah. The only thing I might've done differently is tie in Carter's love of explosives to this story. He's buying fireworks, the Indians bully him, so he gets revenge by lighting a firecracker under them. This "sparks" his lifelong interest in blowing things up.

Below:  Carter about to (mis)fire an arrow at a German truck.