Landover satirizes "Injun sin"

Local Injuns Ordered to Stay Away From Thanksgiving Festivities

Local Holiday Action AlertFreehold, Iowa--Each year local savages in our God-fearing community insist on playing a role in our historical retelling of the true story of Thanksgiving at Landover Baptist Church. Each year, by the grace of God, they are turned down, told to back away, and arrested, if need be. "Before anyone starts in," Pastor Deacon Fred tells the media, "Let's make it clear that that we hold no hatred toward the Injun people, even though they committed hate crimes against the wonderful Christian folks who founded our country. As decent Christians, we love them dearly, convenience permitting. Quite frankly, it is Injun sin that we hate. We hate alcohol, drug use, foul language, loitering, cheating, stealing, lying, gambling, horseplay, lewd attire, the flinging of feces, misuse of leather goods, jewelry on men, and long hair on men who don't kill themselves for our sins. If we were to let Injuns into our festivities, and onto our properties, it would be like welcoming the Devil into Heaven. It is nothing against the Injun people. It is against who they are and what they promote as a people. Our Godly church will not taint our respectable Christian image with such an obvious and abhorrent association. Praise the sweet and living name of our precious savior, Jesus Christ! Amen!"

Downtown Freehold and areas near the Landover Baptist Church are Iowa state and private Baptist properties. Injuns have crawled out of their trailers and casinos, high on dope, and drunk on moonshine. They stay drunk all year and sober up for one day, Thanksgiving, and assume lily-white Christian folks will have pity on their wretched souls, and roll out the red carpet. They lay on our streets and sidewalks in protest. They lobby for a demonic presence at our local Thanksgiving Play, they insist on being invited, even though they are unsaved, like their Satan-worshipping ancestors. "Landover Baptist's Two Tons of Turkey and Trimmings Feast on the Lawn is a Godly event, for God’s people," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "And these Injuns spread their germs and venomous lies to corrupt the minds of local youth.

Pastor Deacon Fred presented this question to the town council recently, "Why would we want the descendants of a people who murdered the Godly Christian Pilgrims who came in peace to this country to have an equal seat at our table?"Before you get outraged:

Landover Baptist ChurchThe Landover Baptist Church is a fictional Baptist church based in the fictional town of Freehold, Iowa. The Landover Baptist web site and its associated Landoverbaptist.net Forum are a satire of fundamentalist Christianity and the Religious Right in the United States.Comment:  Years ago I posted a couple items from the Landover site in my Stereotype of the Month contest:

Website uses "Injun" stereotypes to satirize Christians
Website jokes about "Injun" "heathens" and "drunks"

I figured they were satires, but I wasn't sure. This was before Wikipedia existed and I couldn't find any evidence.

Even if they were satires, I thought they crossed the line. They repeated Native stereotypes without doing enough to satirize them. Like many so-called satires, it was hard to distinguish them from the real thing.

This piece is more clearly a satire, I think. Condemning Indians for horseplay, flinging feces, and misuse of leather goods is clearly ridiculous, for instance. People who hate Indians don't make these complaints. Such clues tell readers not to take the posting seriously.

But fundamentalists and other conservatives do complain about things in the piece, such as long hair. So the satire scores some points. It's close to the line but it doesn't go over it.

It's not hard to find examples of the right-wing "thinking" this piece satirizes. For instance:

Jack Chick's Crazy Wolf
Shamans did it for sex and money?
Eagle rite = "Satanic sacrifice"?
Native spirituality is "demonic"?
13 grandmas cursed of idolatry

That's one good reason for posting this satire. To many people, this is the reality of Native America today. They really think Indians are squaws, drunks, and primitives.