Tyrannosaurus Azteca
What’s it about? You may well ask--and Brian will answer: “This is the untold story of the first scouting expedition to central Mexico by imperialist colonizer Hernán Cortes and a small band of soldiers in 1522. They are captured by an Aztec tribe who placate the last remaining Tyrannosaurus rexes in the valley with virgin sacrifices. Shocking waste of virgins, if you ask me. Our hero, Rios, a somewhat progressive conquistador, tries to prevent Cortes from enslaving the Aztecs and put an end to the human sacrifices—a time-honored plot for costume pictures of the ’60s. But we have tried, without interfering with the fun of the piece, to inject a little more plot, character delineation and interesting historical detail.”
But of course Brian also injected lots of blood …. “my mayhem is as graphic as time and money would allow. Two human hearts are ripped out, a leg is bitten off, intestines spill, ribs are shredded, half-eaten corpses fall onto wet sand, etc. These are the moments in this kind of picture I would have loved to have seen as a kid. Gore fans will certainly get some chuckles.”
How did director Brian Trenchard-Smith make this unfortunate boo-boo? Well, "everyone knows" the Aztecs practiced human sacrifice because they were cruel and inhuman. That is, because they were basically beasts with no souls. That is, for no reason.
So if they killed people for no reason, why wouldn't they kill people to stop a rampaging T. rex? Either way they get to indulge their bloodlust. This way they also protect themselves from getting killed.
Why risk your life to hunt the big bruiser when you can sacrifice a virgin to it instead? After all, your average T. rex is reasonable. He won't eat you if you give him a daily meal. We learned this from movies such as King Kong, so it must be true.
The Aztecs' spiritual void
To put it another way, "everyone knows" the Aztecs were too savage and barbaric to worship actual gods. So if a big ol' animal came along, wouldn't it fill their spiritual void? Wouldn't they adopt a god-like creature as their god and decide to worship it?
I mean, you and I would never mistake a dinosaur for a god. But we're talking about Indians who worshiped rocks, trees, and animals. If they're so ignorant that they thought a squirrel was holy, how much holier would a massive deadly predator seem?
So Aztec Rex gives us Indians as superstitious children who sacrifice virgins to a monster. These Indians are just like your classic devil worshipers. The Euro-Americans' religion is uplifting and civilized while the Indians' is primitive and degenerate. According to this movie, it's literally bestial.
No wonder we defeated the Indians so easily. Our god is an all-powerful white man who rules the universe. Theirs is a dumb dino who eats people. Since our god created their "god" in 4000 BC, guess who wins?
Stupid, stupid, stupid
In short, how stupid can you get? This movie makes a film like Apocalypto or The Ruins seem intelligent by comparison. Aztec Rex goes straight to the top of the stereotype pile for May.
Aztec Rex debuts May 10 (tonight) on the Sci-Fi channel. This is one movie I definitely plan to miss.
Below: A TV spot for the movie. I love the way the Spaniards and Aztecs both speak English. Because it would be, like, a bummer if the Aztecs had their own language and the conquistadors couldn't understand them.
12 comments:
Writerfella here --
This your first post, Rob, that has writerfella rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off! (ROTF, LMAO!) You are evolving, lucky you! Keep up THAT kind of good work!
APOCALYPTO, intelligent? You're learning!
All Best
Russ Bates
'writerfella'
Rob, cutting down this "film" is like shooting fish in a barrel. But Russ is right, the material gave you ample opportunity for amusing writing.
I begged off of this one, but saw some of the SciFi channel offerings today. "Aztec Rex" caps off a whole day of very bad monster movies.
But who knows... this could inspire a sequel "Mayasaurus" about how the Maya civilization fell due to a Maiasaurus gobbling all of their crops.
Writerfella here --
Geez, what sequels there could be! Apachycephasaur! Navajoviraptor! Toltecarnosaur! But the one writerfella likes best is Chickasaur!
All Best
Russ Bates
'writerfella'
And don't forget the Cherodactyl, the "Terror of Tahlequah"
Writerfella here --
BRAVISSIMO!
All Best
Russ Bates
'writerfella'
How about one where a young man from the Clan of the Snakes falls in love with a young woman from the clan of the Birds, despite family opposition, bringing the two clans together and calling it "Cozy-Cuddle? (aka quatzecoatl)
May I say I too saw the "brilliance" of this movie and also did a "review" of it on my blog..lol
Glad to see I am not alone.
I truly believe in the content of the movies I see on the venerable Sci Fi channel
I'm just going to go ahead and point out that in the movie the Aztecs actually DO speak their own language (I've been unable to find which language was actually spoken in the film) and that they only learn English from a shipwrecked European.
That being said, it's soooooo typical of Hollywood to stereotype these Spaniards as greedy monsters who place no value on human life. And I love the way the Spaniards speak English. Because it would be, like, a bummer if the Spaniards spoke Spanish and the viewers couldn't understand them.
"And I love the way the Spaniards speak English. Because it would be, like, a bummer if the Spaniards spoke Spanish and the viewers couldn't understand them."
Good point. It's important that we reduce all cultures ever, not just Native American ones.
Why didn't the Spaniards learn the Aztec language (Nahuatl)? Sounds like a Eurocentric conceit that "they" (the funny-looking strangers) should learn "our" (the normal, European) language.
American movies don't necessarily require everyone to speak English, you know. In recent years several movies have used Native actors who spoke Native languages. With subtitles for non-Native audiences, of course.
Did anyone else look at this and think of the Ica stones hoax?
No, but good point. I posted something about the dinosaur-riding Inca in Creationist Website Says Inca Coexisted with Dinosaurs.
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