A synopsis and some quotes tell the story of this episode:
The Order of the Straight Arrow
Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer lead the boys on a camping trip, invoking the phony wisdom of a "Native American spirit" called Wematanye. The trip culminates in a fictitious "snipe hunt." Panic ensues when Bobby thinks he's caught and killed a snipe but finds it's actually an endangered whooping crane.
BILL: We can still play jokes on 'em, right?
DALE: They're not jokes, Bill, they're painful lessons. I thank my father every day for all the tricks he played on me. He taught me the most wonderful lesson a child can learn: Never trust nobody. That's how I know Bob Dole's faking that dead arm.
DALE: We got this Order of the Straight Arrow retreat tomorrow, and I was wondering--
JOHN REDCORN: I'd be honored to look after your wife.
DALE: Gee, thanks.
JOHN REDCORN: The spirit bag is very sacred. You should not make light.
DALE: I like how you say everything's sacred. That's funny too.
HANK: This trip is about the sacredness of Mother Earth and all she gives us. So pee now, 'cause once we get on the road, we ain't stopping.
HANK: Here are your Silence Sticks.
BOBBY: Those are Slim Jims.
HANK: That's what the white man calls them. Wematanye calls them Silence Sticks to test your spirit of shutting up.
HANK: We of the Order of the Straight Arrow call upon the spirit Wematanye, protector of the sacred ground that brings us cool water to drink and energy-efficient clean-burning propane gas for all our sacred heating and cooking needs. Wematanye says, respect the earth! She's ours, by God, our taxes pay for Her. Also, it says here you gotta love all Her creatures. Let's see...oh, here we go: Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're gonna recommend us to the spirit in the sky, with liberty and justice for all. Wematanye is with you, and with Texas. Amen.
HANK: Remember, the snipe call is this: "Woo loo loo, woo loo loo."
BOOMHAUER: Yeah man I tell ya what...Did one of them snipe hunts last night...man with them sticks and bags and Whack! Whack! man, go Woooo-loo-loo-loo! ...Talk about big mistake y'all...It's right there in that cooler.
RANGER: Well, if any of you see anything, stop by the ranger station.
ENVIRONMENTALIST: I also heard they were hunting a snipe last night.
RANGER: There is no snipe.
ENVIRONMENTALIST: My God, how many more species have to be wiped out before we learn?
HANK: There is no Wematanye. It's just some damn nonsense we made to fill out the weekend. Tell him, Dale.
DALE: How do you know my name, crane-killer?
BILL: Those spirit bags of yours are just my ex-wife's old socks, and by the way, I want them back.
HANK: When Dale and Bill and Boomhauer and me went through this together as kids, all the tricks and lies from our dads, they were part of the experience. It brought us all together, you know, us against them.
BOBBY: I don't want to be against you! You're my dad. We're supposed to be on the same team.
this was such a dumb episode. its funny how those stereotypes are still around and it gets old after being asked a million time if you live in a teepee, besides not all indians lived in teepee. ugh.
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