News flash: President Obama announces that from now on, every US policy regarding Native Americans must follow the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.
News flash: Dan Snyder has an epiphany that "Redskins" is akin to a Jewish slur, will change his football team's name.
Poll results: Indians admit sovereignty, reservations, and ceremonies are "kind of lame," wish they could be middle-class whites like on TV.
News flash: Conservatives announce it's time to stop playing games with veiled threats and codewords. Henceforth, terminating Indian tribes will be an official part of their anti-government agenda.
News flash: In a 6-3 vote, the Supreme Court said it had misinterpreted federal Indian law for the last 30 years. "We didn't realize treaties were the supreme law of the land," said a chastised John Roberts.
Ha ha ha...April Fools!