May 05, 2011

Alternatives to "Geronimo" codename

Someone who defended the "Geronimo" codename for killing bin Laden asked me the following:Just out of curiosity, Rob, what code-name would you have given the target and mission?That led to these exchanges on Facebook:

I could think of hundreds of examples. How many examples do you need? How about "Operation Joker"?

The White House now is claiming that they choose mission names at random. So open the dictionary at random and pick a word. "Operation Wildflower" or whatever.

You decide: Operation Joker. Operation Goldfinger. Operation Manson. Operation Attila. Operation Andrew Jackson. Operation Hitler. Operation Killjoy. Operation Knucklehead. Operation Playboy (because of the mansion). Etc.

I've got thousands of names better than "Operation Geronimo." If you're a government official who's too stupid and insensitive to think of a better name, that is.

Give me a call if you need help, government idiots. I'll charge you only a modest fee for my name-branding advice.

"Operation Attila" is insensitive?I don't see how Operation Attila is any better than Operation Geronimo. Sounds a bit racist to me ('m not sure anyone today identifies with Attila's Huns. Not even the Hungarians. But "Operation Attila" would be less offensive to American citizens, almost 2% of which are Indians. That was the point.

And since I can come up with thousands of examples, it's pointless to nitpick individual choices. You're missing the forest for the trees.My comment about "Attila" was not nitpicking, it was intended to point out how easy it is to "slip." Are you saying it is okay to denigrate a people who no longer exist and with whom no American's identify? Seems to me you are now in the same hole as Obama.It's more okay than denigrating people who still exist. I've never protested sports teams named "Vikings" or "Spartans," for instance. If these people find the names offensive, they can protest for themselves.

You could nitpick every name on this list. For instance, "Operation Manson" is offensive to Manson's innocent relatives and other people named Manson. Etc. The point was to come up with better names, not perfect ones.

If you want a name that doesn't offend anyone, go with "Operation Wildflower." "Operation Chair." "Operation Dirt." Etc.

To reiterate: Since I can come up with thousands of examples, it's pointless to nitpick individual choices. You're missing the forest for the trees.

P.S. I didn't call it Operation Hun, I called it Operation Attila. I didn't say anything about Huns as a people, so even your nitpicking misses the mark.

Are you claiming a large number of people would defend Attila the individual against comparisons to bin Laden? When you find such an Attila Anti-Defamation League, let us know. Until then, you're nitpicking.

Suggestions from the peanut galleryOperation Lincoln? To remember the man who signed the largest mass hanging in the history of the U.S.?

Operation Pepsi?

Operation Douche.
I'm sure Pepsi would be flattered at the attention and publicity. Not to mention having their drinks associated with a terrorist--I mean, our troops.

New marketing slogan: "Pepsi Kills!"Operation 'Hood, as in "there goes the neighborhood?"I'm not sure we want to insult the makers of fine feminine products. But okay.Operation Upchuck 'cause he makes us sick?

Operation Douche Bag works for me.
All these are possible names. <g>Operation Chivington. Confirmed kill code phrase, "The Preacher is dead."

Operation Pond Scum; kill code phrase, pond clean.
More brilliant ideas

Based on the DoD's assurances that there was no connection between bin Laden the America-hating savage terrorist and Geronimo the America-hating "terrorist savage," I came up with more brilliant codenames:

Operation Magilla Gorilla. "How much is that terrorist in the window?"

Operation Tea Party. Because it's an honor.

When informed that the plan to execute Public Enemy No. 1 could've been named for their movement, Tea Party members demanded to know why it wasn't. "We're totally happy to be associated with the most reviled man in history," said one bloodthirsty teabagger. "Like Osama bin Laden, we're all about destroying the US government."

When one Tea Party official suggested that wasn't such a good idea, the others beat him to death, then danced on his corpse. "USA! Kill Osama! USA! Kill Obama!" they howled like a pack of wolves.

Operation Gabrielle Giffords. Because she's shown America what a fighting spirit is all about.

I'm sure no one would make the false connection between Giffords the shooting target and bin Laden the shooting target. Remember, it's because of her fighting spirit, the same spirit shown by our troops!

Operation Rob Schmidt. Because he slays everyone with his sense of humor.

Just like Osama did with his airplanes. Except without all the dead people.

Operation Jesus. Because the DoD assures us there was no connection between the mission and the name. It was chosen at random.

I think Christians everywhere would be honored to have their savior associated with this just and righteous mission. Our troops protected us and Jesus protects us, so the name fits.

Or does "Operation Rob Schmidt" cover this point already?

Operation Obama. Because no one would ever think of associating the US president with a dirty, rotten terrorist.

When al Qaeda overheard the chatter about Operation Obama, one of them said, "I guess he's going on another Hawaiian golf trip or something, Osama. It's nothing to do with us. Go back to sleep."

That would've totally fooled those dumb terrorists!

I could go on, but you get the idea. The US military obviously didn't choose the codename at random. It obviously chose it to associate bin Laden with Geronimo. Unless someone tells us exactly how the US chose the name "Geronimo," you won't convince me otherwise.

For more on the subject, see Inside the "Operation Geronimo" War Room and Military Codenames Chosen at Random?!

Below:  "Operation Jesus," the mission to kill bin Laden.


Anonymous said...

"If these people find the names offensive, they can protest for themselves." ~Rob Schmidt, white man who protests on behalf of Indians

Wow. Taking things out of context and twisting them to fit a joke and an agenda is more fun and easier to do than I thought. No wonder you get such a kick out of writing this blog.

Anonymous said...

Operation Hercules: We've cut off one head of the hydra, now we have to cauterize it before it regrows.