May 05, 2011

Inside the "Operation Geronimo" war room

Frantic exchange inside Obama's war room during the hunt for Osama bin Laden:

"Geronimo-E KIA!"

"You mean the mission's dead?!"

"No, Osama's dead. The mission is still alive."

"Then why'd he say 'Geronimo-E KIA'?"

"I think he meant 'the mission killed it.' It's slang."

"So the mission killed Geronimo? Or Geronimo killed the mission? I'm so confused."

"Who's on first?"

One could write a whole "Who's on First?" pastiche based on the mission/target confusion. In fact, I think I'll do it.

"So the mission was to kill Geronimo."

"No, Geronimo was the mission."

"So it was Geronimo's mission?"

"No, Obama's mission."

"Obama's mission to kill Geronimo?"

"No, Obama's mission to kill Osama."

"So Geronimo wasn't involved at all?"

"No, Geronimo was the mission."

"I thought Osama was the mission."

"He was."

"So Osama was the mission to kill Geronimo."


"Osama was the mission to kill Obama?"

"No, no!"

"Geronimo was the mission to kill Obama?"


"Then who did Geronimo want to kill?!"

"Geronimo wasn't there! He's dead!"

"So the mission succeeded?"


"The mission to kill Geronimo?"

"Oh, I give up!!"

"Well, it's a good thing Geronimo didn't give up. Nobody likes a quitter."

For more on the subject, see Congress to Examine "Geronimo" Codename, Apaches Demand Apology for Codename, and Critics Slam "Geronimo" Codename.

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