July 11, 2006

Bald Beagle satirizes Bad Eagle

From baldbeagle.blogspot.com:

Bald BeagleMs. Bowwow seemed a bit “stunned” how a manly warrior like myself could actually shed tears. “For my country,” I responded. She immediately responded, “Yes, it’s a terrible thing that they did to the Comanches, all those warriors wiped out.” But in horror, I realized instantly that (of course) she did not understand at all. “No, that’s not it,” I corrected her, “I cry because I love America.” Our beloved founding fathers, with absolutely no help from Indian people, formed the greatest country ever to grace this grand blue planet. We are free, we do not torture, we care for "the least among us," we bring "democracy" to the oil-rich continents where the indigenous don't even know what to do with it, we build up our nuclear arsenals so we can police the rest of the world in our own image. That is our great calling, to dominate, control, occupy, and ultimately bring salvation and freedom.

“But, isn’t there a difference between an indigenous country and an imposed government?” she questioned. So, I gave her a quick lesson in American Indian history, about how the Comanches were defeated by the superior whites, and how we should therefore honor the stronger forces. The Americans are the new warriors, and if they want to put up dumb-looking mascots to honor us in front of our impressional children, so be it. “Being a warrior is everything,” I instructed her, “and we as Indian warriors should worship the American government, right or wrong.” At that moment I knew it would never work out between us, she was brainwashed like so many other liberal pugs.

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