November 22, 2011

Gyasi Ross on Breaking Dawn

Gyasi Ross offers some snarky comments about Breaking Dawn in his first column for Indian Country Today Media Network:

Breaking Dawn on a New Series for Indians

By Gyasi RossWhat better way to start off a new column in Indian Country Today Media Network than to talk about an Indian boy who is hopelessly for—against the weight of supernatural forces, no less—the love of a white girl? What can be more “Indian” than that?

It’s about as natural as an Indian turning into a werewolf (he probably should’ve turned into a little poodle because I think white girls love carrying those around in their purses and petting them heavily).
And:Still, I replied, “If I really wanted to see some Indians running around without their shirts on fighting over women and turning into wild animals, I would go to one of the bars surrounding the host hotel at one of the large fancy Indian conferences. You wanna see real theatrics and tension—go there!” That was just an excuse, of course—I just don’t know how a straight man could justify watching that many consecutive minutes of pretty men walking around looking intense. What’s really scary—definitely not the vampires or the werewolves—is the prospect that I might really like the gratuitous amounts of abdominals—that would cause so much confusion to my sense of self!And:More, there are real, actual Indians in the movie (and a few fake ones too)—a rarity, and certainly something to be thankful for and to support. GO SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL INDIAN ACTORS!!! Still, if the makers could make this movie slightly less, well, estrogenic, I’d love to go support the actors in this movie. As it is, I’d have to wear a trenchcoat and sunglasses and fedora to watch it lest someone think that I’m into movies about teenage necrophilia/bestiality.Comment:  Nice to hear some original thoughts beyond the usual "How wonderful that Native actors are getting a chance to play savage beasts modern-day Indians." Oops, I made a snarky comment too! <g>

For more on the subject, see Taking Issue with Rene Haynes and Actors Turn Out for Breaking Dawn.

2 comments:

jaine said...

I saw the original post on Indiancountrytoday, actually made me laugh out loud.
Which just goes to show how some humour transcends culture.

Anonymous said...

LOL This is hilarious. Of course, they had to work out some and lose a bit of their bishie-ness (If you've seen Bronson Pelletier before Twilight, you would agree: Bishonen doesn't even begin to describe him.) in order to get to be shirtless werewolves the size of horses.

By the way, a good way to troll Twilight forums is to point out just how many Rule 34 clich├ęs are in that movie: Furries, vampires, toddlercon! (That's coming up in Breaking Dawn part 2.)